Introduction: Where’s the Problem?
Have you ever felt like you are the problem? Like your anxiety, your depression, or your bad habits are a core part of who you are? Many of us have. We internalize our struggles and let them define our identity. But what if there was a different way to look at things?
This idea is the foundation of Narrative Therapy, a powerful approach to counseling that helps people see their problems from a new perspective.
The Problem with “Internalized” Problems
In our culture, we often use language that merges our identity with our issues. We say, “I am an anxious person” or “I am a procrastinator.” This kind of talk makes it sound like these problems are fixed, unchangeable parts of our personality. When we believe this, it’s hard to see a way forward. After all, how can you change who you fundamentally are?
Narrative therapy challenges this belief by externalizing the problem.
What is Externalization?
Externalization is the process of separating the person from the problem. The goal is to stop saying “I am a bad student” and start saying “The problem of procrastination is affecting my schoolwork.”
Think of it like giving the problem its own name and identity. You can talk about “The Voice of Anxiety” or “The Tyrant of Self-Doubt” or “The Monster of Depression.” This simple shift in language has a profound effect:
- It reduces shame and blame: Instead of blaming yourself, you can look at the problem as an outside force that is affecting you.
- It creates space for action: If you’re not the problem, then you can work together with your therapist to fight it. You can strategize, find ways to resist its influence, and discover the times when you successfully stood up to it.
- It reveals your strengths: By looking at the problem as something separate, you can see all the times you’ve resisted it, outsmarted it, or held it at bay. This helps you uncover your hidden strengths and the qualities that define who you truly are, independent of the problem.
Re-Authoring Your Life’s Story
A core part of narrative therapy is the idea that our lives are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. If your current story is one of defeat, shame, or failure, narrative therapy helps you find “unique outcomes”—the moments when you weren’t controlled by the problem.
By focusing on these moments, a therapist helps you collect evidence of your competence, your resilience, and your identity outside of the problem. Over time, you can begin to “re-author” your life’s story, creating a new, richer, and more hopeful narrative. This new story isn’t a fantasy; it’s a truer reflection of your full identity, which includes your strength and your ability to overcome challenges.
Conclusion
So the next time a problem feels like a core part of you, try to give it a name and a personality of its own. Remind yourself that you are not the problem. The problem is the problem. At Therapy can assist clients in understanding their mental health issues, to develop effective coping mechanisms, and to build resilience for long-term well-being.